Well it was a nice day. Let me get that out of the way early. More importantly, the boys in Cub Scout Den 8 enjoyed themselves.
I never snow-tubed before. The lines at the bottom of the hill were surprisingly small, what I never expected was the crowds at the top. I understand the necessity to hold the lines so people don't crash into each other, but I found the process of clearing the bottom of the slopes to be painfully slow and inefficient. The sun made the hills sluggish, but it just seemed no one was even trying to get the people off the runs, and thus no one seemed inclined to hurry.
The single tubes allowed for more spinning, regardless if you asked for a spin or not before going down. The family tubes (seated 4-6 people) would spin a little, but it was never too much. Psychos, at least in my eyes, would hook 2, 3, 4, or more single tubes together, and then asked to be spun; that many joined tubes just never seemed sane to me.
But hey, no one got hurt, everyone had fun, so why should my opinion matter
The last time I was on a ski mountain (in the snow, that is) was about 20 years ago. Hunter Mountain, NY. I was with a bunch of people, sadly so 'notable' that I couldn't name even one for you right now. Well, one of my brothers was there, so that's one; beyond that, I am at a loss for the other's names.
Now that was my first foray into skiing; so, with no reservations at all, I resigned myself for the bunny slopes. What is the thinking here? OK, for kids, calling the beginner's slopes 'bunny trails' is cute. What adult (especially an adult male) wants to practice on the 'bunny slope'? Truth be told, Hunter formally named their beginner slopes with street names. Madison Ave was where I was practicing, but everyone called them the 'bunny slope'. Way to build
confidence, right?
I took part in the group lesson, and I was off. Grabbed the tow line…ZIP!!! There goes my glove, off my hand, and I end up with a rope burn on my palm. No one told me there was a 'procedure' for using the towline. OK, I'm off to a weak start.
I went up and down about a dozen times, never quite figuring out the 'snow plow' technique. Crashing a lot, mostly on my own, sometimes into other beginners.
After about my 15th or so run (which to call it a 'run' on a bunny slope is kinda silly), I was managing to steer a bit, and gain some control.
'Hey, this is getting good,' or so I thought.
The next thing I realize, I am off the 'snow' and am on hard packed, ice-covered snow.
Moreover, I am picking up speed.
OK, time to snowplow.
Nope…. Not doing good! Not slowing down. In fact going faster. Time to bail out.
So I do my best to stage a controlled fall. I drop. One ski flies off my right foot. The left leg bends 90 degrees (fortunately in a natural position!) and is under my right leg, ski still attached.
Now I am sliding on ice, uncontrollably, trying to get my right foot dug in to slow down.
The slope starts to level off…. "I'll start to slow down" I think.
Not so lucky.
I slide across some gravel and – and I am not making this up – slide under a parked car. Who in their right mind would put a frickin' parking lot at the bottom of a frickin' bunny slope???
My left knee slams into the rear tire of a car, my right leg is underneath the vehicle. My head is throbbing from the bumpy ride (not to mention the gravel patch). Before I catch my breath and crawl away, I hear a sound.
"Oh crap. The other ski"
It followed me down, and slid right behind me.
And hit me in the head.
I crawled to the lodge and proceeded to get drunk.
I never went skiing again after that event. It just never seemed prudent thing for me to do.
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