Wednesday, June 22, 2005

And now for another edition on how to be Manly...

And now for another edition on how to be manly, today lesson #23,548…

Mr. Manly is back. He was syndicated on radio for years in the ‘90s, offering his advice on ‘How to be a manly-man.’ The lessons generally followed the same theme: Mr. Manly would set up a situation, and offer three or so suggested ways to handle the matter in a manly manner:

Well, it appears that your Saturday afternoon watching pro-wrestling has been ruined. This morning, when you woke up, at 1pm, your wife informed you that your refrigerator has broken down yet again.

"That does it!" you say. It's alright to have the wife go out and get takeout meals to bring home for dinner, but what's unbearable is the fact that now you won't have any cold beer to drink while you watch your favorite shows on TV.

So it's off to the appliance store to buy a new fridge. You cautiously check to make sure that no one sees you entering the appliance store, for purchasing a new ice box straddles the fine line between manly and unmanly activities.

However, when you discover that your salesperson is a most highly attractive, buxom, young woman, you decide that you will be able to assert your manliness after all. But how can this be accomplished in a manly manner?

Follow along in your Manly Manual, page 4521 and repeat after me:

Follow the link for the suggested comments, but it should be obvious the comments would not endear the person to Mr. Manly. The targets of his comments are generally his wife, mother in law, random store clerk, boss, random barroom patron, etc. And the results are pretty much the same.
Use any of the above phrases in just such a situation and as the female salesperson demonstrates just how well their deluxe deep freeze will hold your entire body, you can rest assured that she will have no doubts as to what kind of many you really are.

Colom Keating, actor and writer, was the voice behind the Manly one, creating the character at a radio station that he once worked out. There were rumors of a TV-sitcom starring the Manly man himself, and somehow those rumors seemed to evaporate about the same time his radio presence did as well. Recently I recalled one of his ‘lessons’ and decided to see what happened to him. To my delight, he is back on air, and online.

Mr. Manly’s own website offers a few of his radio bits in MP3, and where you, too, can hear his daily reports, so you can revel in all of his manliness.

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